20 things to do before you die
Posted by Unknown | Posted in things | Posted on Saturday, July 02, 2011
Death is the fullstop to this life. The end. End of all wordly pleasures and disasters. Death takes away all chances of redemption, of correction, of salvation. The beauty of death is that its uncalled for and no matter how natural, its one of the most unexpected things to happen to a person. Its almost unreal; One day you are living above the skies and the next day you are six feet under the ground..
Death is a very creepy thing and practically thinking about it gives everyone the chills, which is why its one of those things we dont give much thought to. We all like to think we will die of old age, its a global assumption. But i am not here to ruin your day, "YOU ARE GONNA DIE TOMMORROW BITCH!!!" is not at all the intended message. We're all mature here and the details of death and its consequences are well understood by everyone at this point. This serious stuff is already starting to kill, so lets put a pin into it, shall we.
Lets move on and look at the 20 things to do before you die (no particular order):
1. Be in a police line-up
To be safe, nothing serious that puts you away for life. The point is to get the taste of it. The thrill of feeling like a convict. Experiencing jail-time is not the goal, just spending a few hours in a lock-up. So make sure you are merely a suspect and arent actually guilty of anything, unless you believe 'raped to the point of suffocation' is a pleasant cause of death.
2. Enjoy the little things
There are always some little pointless stupid things that we want to do for no other reason than for the fun of them. For instance; you'd wanna write a poem, plant a tree and carve your name on it, dance naked in the rain, jerk off on an airplane, climb a mountain, paint a picture, publish a book, learn to play a guitar, take flying lessons.. The list is exhaustive. So many little dreams scattered across your imaginative little brain. The plan is to get these little fantasies rolling. So how many can u get done before zero hour?
3. Eat your last meal
Unless you screwed up point #1 and are waiting to be hanged, it is highly unlikey you'll know which meal is going to be your last. So the point is to have a meal like the one you'd want to have as your last meal, well before your actual last meal.. Arrange all your favorite food on the same table and dine like a king.
4. Hibernate
Sleeping is one of the wonders of life. You can never get enough, you keep coming back for more. Everytime you doze off into the trance, you slip into a magical rythm, into the ocean of dreams. You fly away into the dark sky. Its just magical. Atleast for once; stay awake for 24 hours straight, lock your bedroom, turn off your phone and sleep away without any intention of ever getting up.
5. Master a skill
Are you known for your kung-fu moves? Or for your soccer tricks? Or for your online gaming skills? Or for your sick sense of humor? Whatever your natural passion is, eventually becomes your skill. And the point is to master the skill. Incorporate your passion into your identity, be known for it. Be recognized for it; via fame or by means of an award.
6. Leave a mystery
People die everyday, some are grieved some are despised but eventually all are forgotten. People move on with their lives. Its the cold selfish world that we live in. Do you want to be a forgotten star or an everlasting legend? The point is to leave behind a mystery so you can live on forever in the hearts of the people. Depending on your situation it is up to you to cook up the mystery that'll indulge your close ones the most. It can be anything from leaving a mysterious treasure map behind to leaving a bastard baby behind.
7. Get into a fight
Not a political debate, nagging and whining dont count. But the kind involving weaponry and armor. Get into a big pre-planned fight, fix a time and arena. Boast a big talk prior to the fight. Feel the pride, the talk around town. Now actually going through with the fight could prove either good or equally bad, but why leave anything to chance. So, on the day of the fight pay off the other contestant or abduct him, its imperative he doesnt show up and the glory shall be yours, forever.
8. French
Nothing to do with france. Frenchie is one of the few magical things in this God-forsaken lifeless world. It just feels so wrong and right at the same time. Spitting and smooching. Panting like dogs gasping for breath. Sweaty and sticky faces. Dry mouths. Very intimate.
P.s. It doesnt have to be necessarily wrong, why doesnt a person ever picture his wife whenever a kiss is mentioned?
9. Travel
Travelling is a great excursion. We all have our fantasy land, some special place we've always wanted to visit; Paris, Vegas, Rome, Istanbul.. The goal is to make it happen. Not just visit the place as a tourist but to live for a week or so as a local. Learn about the local culture and the native language ahead of the trip and mix in the locality. There is no fun in roaming around as an alien. Thus, When in rome.....
10. Get high
Bob Marley once said: "82&/&:$@/"€]^{+~¥¥]%%\<?¥?.!'ckf". That doesnt make any fucking sense, because he was high at the time. But the point is that the only way you can say such a thing is if you are high. So If you wanna experience the other side of yourself, that emerges when your brain functions at 0.5x and your body runs in slow motion, you gotta crack up. Just try it once atleast and atmost. Also choose a common drug. No needles, death by Drug OD is a very dishonourable death. You will be rembered as a junkie and your grave will be spit upon.
11. Drift
Drifting is similiar to riding a rollercoaster, only better coz you are in control of the ride, you are steering the roller coaster, unless ofcorse you have no idea what the hell you are doing. So rent your dream car and take it out for a spin. Caution: Choose an unpopulated area (everybody deserves a chance to complete this list). With the proper safeguards, drifting is actually a very fun activity. And yes ofcorse, choose only a car, motorbikes and airplanes are a no-go; Drifting 101.
12. Get into trouble
How often do you experience thrill? How often do you feel truly alive? How often does your heart pump like its gonna explode? Not very often? Thats because as we human beings have evolved over generations we have adopted a risk-averse behaviour as opposed to the agressive behaviour our ancestors exhibited. No more exists the element of risk in our lives. We are soft and touchy. We live safe, which is dying all the same. So get up, roar like a lion, rip apart your clothes and get into trouble. Fuck up majorly atleast once to the point you feel the fear of death.
13. Girl vs Girl
John Franklin once said: 'If you havent seen girls making out, fuck you!' The purpose of this agressive statement has been described by philosophers as an attempt by Franklin to emphasize on the importance of it. As previously concluded by a russian study it is one of the most desirable sights in the world. To add to that a chinese study recently revealed that witnessing such action has a meditative effect on the male brain, and increased doses enhance life-span and improve heart conditions. The point is to watch two females in action atleast once, just the basics no dirty business. P.s. Getting into the action is not allowed, crying is.
14. Invent Something
The fast paced society and the technical era that we live in, there are gadgets for almost everything. But surely you would have encountered some task for which nothing exists or which cannot be efficiently done with the existing technology. This is where you come in. You need not be a scientist and invent something unique altogether. All you need is creativity and you can combine existing technology to give the desired outcome. It could take months, even years. If you do come up with something brilliant, patent it and gain everlasting credit for it.
15. Live on the sea
John Franklin once said: 'I dont understand why land is considered our home and not the sea, for land feels more foreign than the friendly seas' The silent calm of the sea has no match. Rent a yatch and spend a week at the sea. Definitely not merely anchored by the coast. The point is to experience sea as if land doesnt exist. Leave all distractions behind and sail away into the sun until there is no sign of land. It is ideal to travel alone, and you shall return a new person.......if you return.
16. Clean up your closet
We all have baggage, buried secrets, some of which are too horrible to be discovered. How well buried are yours? Are they just hidden in plain sight? Upon your death, if your room is cleaned will any skeletons be discovered? any sex toys? Pictures of naked little boys? Trust me, you dont want that. You dont want to be remembered as a pervert. The secrets must stay buried for your own good and for the good of your loved ones. Therefore, make sure any such confidential data is highly encrypted and any inappropriate stuff safely under lock and key at all times, just in case. It is prudent to hire a specialist with instructions to burn down a specific storage place or your room upon your expiration.
17. Throw a party
Are you the generous party thrower or the stingy little fucker who never treats his friends but ends up crashing everyone else's or the lone wolf who has never been to a party? Nevertheless, atleast once in your life throw the bash of a lifetime. Invite everyone you know and feel your worth by the charm of your fiesta. Sneak away from the party to an elevated vantage point, hold your glass up high and quote something fancy in a deep voice. Doesnt matter what, but you have to do this inorder to feel your influence. Dont just keep standing there crying, queer down, man up, get down there and dance like your pussy is on fire.
18. Have a breakdown
So many things in life that frustrate us, that make us angry. Things we cant change, things we cant take no more. But we rarely act out. We keep gulping down our rage. Which just keeps building and building deep inside in a heat box. It just stays there, we dont even notice it but it does affect our general mood in the long-term. And it doesnt go anywhere, unless you choose to do something about it. The point is to experience the rare feeling a person gets when the heat box explodes. Arrange for a wide furnished room or a furnished space, with lots of glass and ceramic. Anything breakable, just stuffed all over. Grab a bat and go crazy. Dont be afraid to get your hands dirty. Trust me, it will be worth it. Just Lash out. For all those bitches, all those bullies... Everything that has let you down. Rise above your rage and you shall experience pure happiness.
19. The Island
Living a luxurious life sure has its place. Perks such as a comfy bed, a three course meal, a safe and tidy environment are unbeatable. But are they? This delicate lifestyle has made us lazy, unaware of the true meaning of survival. The final task is to head off to a deserted island, alone in a boat, carrying nothing but a knife. The boat must be destroyed upon arrival. The point is to live like the early humans once used to. To indulge in the miracles of nature and find your true self. To learn the true meaning of survival, the true value of life; of everything you have. To experience life as it is, no embellishments, no extravagancies.. A week should be enough after which find a way home.. If you're ready, you will... Unless the island isnt done with you by then or that it has become your reality.
20. Redeem yourself
All the other things aside. This one is perhaps the most important thing to accomplish; Redemption. Confront, reconcile, and set straight your wrongs to other people. More importantly set things straight with the Man upstairs. I am sure we all have a lot of catching up to do and we dont wanna die while the relationship is still a mess, while we are far behind on our obligations to Him.. This is why it is prudent to always try and be ahead of our responsibilities to Him. Lets try harder and atleast make sure we get better rather than worse as our time approaches. Not the most difficult task on the list, i presume.
Most people live their lives like a boring soap opera, some have a little spice, some have a lot of action, too much for their own good. The point is that a little drama doesnt hurt. We live everyday to achieve long-term goals; common objectives like a good education, a good job, a sane wife, a perfect set of kids, n bla bla bla. Well boo-fuckin-hoo. Call me reckless, but i say fuck that. Why do you have to be a slave to the society's standards? To preset goals that you are born into? To live like a dog, chasing cars, car after car. Whats the point of giving up everything for the pursuit only to find out in the end that it was the journey that mattered and not the destination. Inevitably you'll grow to be an old lonely man, filled with regret, waiting to die. Cause thats what the current path leads to. That is actually what you're running towards; Old-age and death. So slow down and enjoy the view along the course cause the finish line is the ultimate finish.
So thats that and these 20 things oughta keep your life lively enough..
Now, It is highly unlikely that you'll be able to do everything before the clock strikes doom. But if you are lucky enough to complete the list in time, dont just lay there waiting for your time to end. Go ahead and die already. You've done more than enough, but unfortunately the world.. The world is just not enough..
Feedback & suggestions to sarmed@lostinperdition.com
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