Pages

The Life of Charlie Red

Posted by Unknown | Posted in | Posted on Friday, March 25, 2011



Charlie woke up earlier than usual, even though he'd hardly slept all night. The excitement of his 18th birthday was overwhelming. As he moved the covers aside to rise from his bed, he started re-planning his birthday party in his head that was scheduled ahead in the evening. He'd already gone over every detail a thousand times. But he just couldn't help it. He was always like this, extra curious, extra cautious.


He got dressed and made his way downstairs to the kitchen to get himself some breakfast. As he passed the hallway, he noticed the door to his parents' bedroom was shut, which meant they were still asleep. What time is it he wondered…? He was feeling very excited, he would've been jumping around if it wasn't for that troubling thought that kept bugging him. It was about his dad; something that was specific to this time of the year. It was because of a gift or 'the gift'. The deal was that on his each and every birthday his dad would give him a present; the same present; a red ball. It sounded funny to any other person he discussed it with, but to him it was rather annoying and highly irritating. That was the only thing he ever got. The earliest he could remember was his 5th birthday. He'd actually liked it back then. But as it was repeated over and over it got from exciting to boring to frustrating. When he was younger he'd just politely accept it. He was incapable of interpreting the meaning of the present at that time. He just figured when he grew up his dad would either give up the senseless act by confessing his sick sense of humor or actually provide a viable explanation that he couldn't foresee at such young age. He figured he'd figure it out by the time he was an adult and let the questions lie dormant all these years. But today he turned 18, today onwards he'd be considered an adult. He was hoping for the recurring process to finally come to a halt. This year he was expecting his dad to for once buy him an actual present, something that his friends had received from their dads over the years and he'd envied. All he ever got was an ugly ass red ball. Hell, it wasn't even rubber; it wouldn't bounce so he couldn't even play with it if he ever wanted too. If dad ever gives an explanation for this pathetic stunt, it better be a good one, he always thought. The several times that he tried asking his father about it, his father would say: "you wouldn't understand. You are not ready yet". What the fuck is that supposed to mean, he'd ask himself. What’s his criterion for 'ready'? He hoped it meant his age. And if that were the case, today the torture is supposed to end; today marks the end to his suffering. His hopes were high. He was very optimistic this year. His mind was racing through the aspect as he finished the last of his sandwich. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door upstairs. Moms probably awake, he figured…He ditched the tray in the sink and headed out to the bakery to pick up the birthday cake…


Later in the afternoon, people started to arrive as his mom and dad were prepping for the event. By evening the house was full with friends and neighbors, people cheering and laughing, kids running around. Finally everyone settled and the cake was cut. Birthday songs were sung, the food was attacked and in the end came the time to open the presents. Everybody gathered around the pile and he started to take 'em one by one. As he went on, he unwrapped many cool and attractive gifts but he didn't really care, he was just excited about that one gift; the one that was from his dad. He rushed through every gift, cheering, thanking and moving on until there weren't any left. He sighed and looked towards his dad who stood right across, his dad smiled and reached out to hand him a black box; "The" black box, like every other time. He was starting to doubt his positivity, all hope started to collapse, but he held it together, tried to calm himself with the naïve idea that just because it’s the same box, doesn't necessarily mean it’s the same gift. It could still be a watch, an ornament or something... He held on to the diminishing hope as he hastened to open it with trembling fingers. Finally as he slowly lifted the lid off the box, came into view a red round object; the fucking ball, identical in shape and size to the previous morons. It took all his will-power to not yell and burst out with anger. He was going crazy but somehow managed to hide it. He raised his head, grinding his teeth, and his father's face came into view, which presented itself with a weird expression. His father looked pale and horrified. What is he thinking he questioned himself? Is he trying to read my face? Is he expecting some kind of a reaction? Is he waiting for me to explode? Does he want me to explode? Is he some psychotic bastard who gets off on my pain? Well, I won't give him the pleasure, not this time at least, he decided. Today onwards I won't even give it any attention, show lack of care and instead raise his curiosity, he resolved.


As years and years passed many birthdays went by and he kept getting the red ball. When Charlie was 25, he got married. It was a big event in his life; bonding with his high school sweetheart Lila. Five months into his marriage Charlie turned 26, and without doubt got the same ball. All past experience had dictated otherwise, yet he had hoped for something else now that he was a husband. What a fukin joke he thought. He took Lila in confidence and told her the tale of the red ball. She wasn't much help. She just asked him to take it easy. "You are just making a big deal out of this, honey", she said. Charlie replied furiously: "Fuck u bitch. U don't know what a red ball can do to you!" And so they had their first fight. Charlie left home in anger and hit the closest bar. "Shot of vodka, n keep m coming.." Charlie ordered. I gotta do something Charlie started thinking. This ball ruined my childhood, my youth my adult life and now it’s affecting my marriage. But what do I do? First off I need therapy to get my mind straight. Then I can figure something out, Charlie resolved before blacking out.
After months of therapy which was hardly a help Charlie did some research on and finally knew what was the key to breaking the curse. He travelled to the barracuda mountains to obtain "Vervain". This particular herb was known for brain damage, specifically memory loss. Charlie's plan was simple: no memory, no ball.
Charlie took his parents out on their anniversary, perfect time to indulge his dad. He paid the waiter to put the Vervain in his father's scotch. Vervain had other side effects, but it was worth the risk he had decided. As his father gulped down glass after glass, Charlie just kept waiting, waiting for some kind of a sign to appear in his dad’s behavior. He’d almost given up when his father's heart stopped and he went into cardiac arrest.


That's not what I wanted, what have I done. How will I ever forgive myself? Please don't die dad. The thoughts raced his mind as he paced in the waiting area by the ER. He spent the night at the hospital. By morning He'd decided to confess his crime when his father’s doctor arrived and delivered the diagnosis; "Your father arrived in the state of acute tachycardia myopathy. He suffered from heavy metal poisoning. The cardiac arrest was an allergic reaction to some toxin that he ingested. The drug has cleared the system, he will be fine except the permanent damage the toxin did. He has lost his memory, hopefully, partially. But due to your father's senior age the condition of his heart is very weak. He won't survive another attack. We have him on a pacemaker. And I'm afraid he'll have to be hospitalized for the rest of his life...”
Charlie stood there for minutes, digesting the news. Doctor: "Mr. Charlie? Are u okay?" Charlie managed to utter: "yea.. Just..." Doctor: "you can see him now, he's in the ICU"
Charlie nodded and made his way to the ICU. His dad was still on the anesthetic, so he was out. Charlie was on a war with his conscience. This is not that bad he thought. That's what I wanted after all, Right? My God… What has the ball done to me? Have I gone crazy? Why don't I feel empathy? Are my emotions dead? These questions were going to haunt him forever he knew, but he had to move on. At least, the ball was out of his life for good.


A week before his 27th birthday he was going through the calendar, when he realized his birthday was coming up. It made him smile. Dad was finally getting back to normal condition. He was doing better at the hospital than he was at home. At least someone’s there to take care of him and the big news; no ball this birthday. Things are finally getting better, he thought. Finally the day arrived and was going perfect; he was having a great birthday so far. He was experiencing pure happiness for the first time. He felt bad about his dad and went to the hospital in the evening to visit him; he was resting so he decided not to wake him up. He placed the flowers that he'd brought, by his bed. He was about to leave when he noticed a black box on the side table. His face froze in horror. He lost his balance and collapsed on the floor. This can't be happening. This isn't possible. He doesn't remember anything... He got back on his feet and rushed to the doctor's office. He asked the doc: "Dr. House! Is it possible for my father to remember something from the past?" "No, why do u ask?" replied the doctor, surprised. "Tell me doc what exactly does he remember" Doc: "All he remembers is what was in the temporal lobe of his brain or what we call our sub-conscious; Pretty basic stuff. Like how to eat, scratch, walk etc. Anything he does is out of basic instinct" Doctor: “Is everything okay?” “No. But you can’t help me Doc. No one can.” Charlie replied calmly and left the hospital.


Charlie lay in bed all night wondering. How can he remember? How can the ball be part of his sub-conscious? Is giving the ball part of his natural instinct? This is impossible. The only explanation is that he remembers everything. But then why would he act otherwise. Why would he hide it? So many questions... Not a single answer. He dozed off in height of curiosity…
Days and days passed by… The questions were eating at him; the whole mystery was driving Charlie crazy. He was drinking more. His work life was unhealthy. His marriage was a mess. His life was getting miserable and miserable. He'd get drunk and laugh at his life. He was supposed to have a happily married life. He got everything he wanted all his life. But why then did a single issue become the deciding factor. Why did the ball matter so much? He'd cry at nights. He was on drugs. His friends, his mother, his wife all had given up on him. He was in a dark place in his life and was headed to a darker one. It all seemed to be ending. The world was falling apart...


But the universe had other plans. In the darkness came a ray of light. A blessing; Lila gave birth to a boy. And when nothing seemed to matter to Charlie, looking in the eyes of his son gave him hope, a reason to live...
Charlie was given a second chance at life. He wanted to live again. He wanted to be happy again. He gave up drugs and started straightening his life. Things were getting smooth between him and Lila. He started living what he always pictured as a perfect life…He’d put his personal issues aside and was giving his full to his family. All that craziness was history. No more would he let his past meddle with his future. No more would he be selfish and let his family suffer for his shortcomings. He was committed.
His son Charles was growing up fast and his first birthday came up. He spent the day thinking how far he’d come. He was proud of himself for how hard he’d worked to put his life together the past year. He’d planned a vacation on this particular day as a gift to his son, his wife and himself. He was going to Paulo Penang Islands for a month. Everything was ready. “We are gonna be late for the flight honey”, Charlie called upon Lila. “Go ahead, I am just gonna be a minute” Lila shouted from upstairs. Charlie picked up the bags and headed out to get the luggage in the trunk. He opened the door and his jaw dropped open. The bags dropped to the floor. On his door step lay something, something that reminded him of a time too dark, something that busted open the bank of painful memories, something that brought back the horror of his life, the curse of a lifetime; THE BLACK BOX. The point was clear; it was from his dad, meant for his son Charles. No. No. No. No Dad, you can’t. Not again. Not like this. He started hitting the door. Lila came running down. “Charlie! Charlie! What is it?” She embraced Charlie in her arms facing the door and noticed the black box that lay behind him. Charlie was calming down, when he raged again and broke free of her. She held her hands on his cheeks and whispered: “Look at me Charlie, look at me! Don’t. Please. Don’t do this to yourself. Not again” Charlie’s face was red and his eyed were filled with tears. He managed to utter: “I have to go talk to him. Its time damn it!” “NO!” shouted Lila. “You can’t do this to me!!!!!!! You can’t do this to your son!!!!!!!!!! We are leaving, the flight is in an hour, let’s go. There’s still time. Let’s just go away and never come back” Charlie was speechless. His head was numb. He’d lost the power to think. Lila leaded the way “Get in the car. I’ll bring the bags and Charles down”
She rushed upstairs and made it back to the car in seconds. Charlie was still quiet. He started the engine and drove off the driveway. After a few minutes they were on the highway, which was headed straight for the John Lock Airport. They both hadn’t said a word since they’d left. Lila just wanted to get the hell away from home as soon as possible and Charlie was lost, he couldn’t think anymore… They drove quietly for about ten minutes when Charlie broke the silence: “I am sorry”. Lila looked at him, confused. He was staring ahead. She looked ahead and saw the last Exit almost passing by. “No, no, no” she shouted as Charlie spun right off the highway… Lila couldn’t accept this. She made a jump for the steering wheel and wrestled for control as the SUV spun out of control and off balance. The vehicle spun a few times and landed upside down off road. Lila let out gasps as she tried to move. Charlie’s head was knocked up pretty bad, his jacket was soaked in blood. He’d even dislocated his shoulder but he was incapable of feeling pain anymore. He bailed the car, got rid of his jacket and headed towards the main, leaving Lila and Charles behind. His family was hurt but his mind wouldn’t rationalize anymore. Lila was in shock, she was confused and couldn’t figure out the situation, the true impact of the accident didn’t inflict upon her, she was in trauma, she tried getting out of the car but couldn’t. She glanced at the backseat and noticed Charles was missing. “Where’s my son?” she murmured, her head spinning. Passing vehicles had stopped by the accident sight. People rushed to her car. “Are u okay mam?” she heard someone say, the voice was getting distant by the second. “My son…” she murmured. Her vision was fading, she saw Charlie get in a cab after which she fainted.
Charlie’s head was hurting. But was it the physical injury or the mental injury over the years that had ripped him of all the emotions. That had made him leave his family behind; wife dying and the son missing… The cab stopped at the emergency entrance of the hospital. He got out and headed in. Everything around him was blurring. The world was fading; colors were dissolving, shapes were drifting. The voices sounded far and echoed. His head hurt with every step he took. But he kept advancing through the hospital corridor. He knew time wasn’t on his side. He finally entered his father’s room and noticed he was gone. Where did he go? He questioned himself, shocked. He hadn’t visited him in over a year. Did he die? No. He can’t die. Not without answering me! “Nurse!” he shouted heading towards the reception. “Where is the patient from 401?” “He was in critical condition so we had to take him to the ICU this morning” she replied. Arrgh, your timing couldn’t have been better dad he thought as he headed towards the elevator. “Are you okay sir? Your head is bleeding” the nurse shouted from behind. Charlie didn’t bother and went on; he was getting closer and closer to the answer.
His heartbeat was fading with every beat. He entered the ICU and noticed his dad’s eyes were halfway open. He had an oxygen mask pinned to his face. He looked much weaker and older. He’d aged a lot in the last year, Charlie noticed. He went closer and leaned into his ear “Sorry dad, but I gotta do this. It’s time to speak the unspoken.” he said as he grabbed the mask and lifted it off. His father was hardly managing to breathe, wheezing with every breath that he took. It took him a couple of minutes to calm down and speak: “I am sorry, my son… I never meant for any of this. You know I love you” “Dad, I don’t give a fuck about your apology, and as much as I’d love to hear your sick and demented definition of love, now is not the time. Just tell me why did you always gave me a red ball. Tell me and set me free… I can’t endure this pain anymore. I can’t die not knowing. Do me this favor and I’ll die happily…” there was a big pause. His dad finally spoke: “You are right Charlie. You deserve to know the truth. I wouldn’t hide it anymore” Charlie was head down on his father’s bed listening eagerly. “The reason I gave you the red ball every year is beacau…….” His words were cut by the beeping sound. Charlie raised his head and noticed his father’s face had frozen. He looked at the machine, there was no sign of a pulse. The nurse came rushing in and flashed a torch in his dad’s eyes. “What the fuck is happening?” Charlie shouted. “He is having an arrhythmia”, she shouted back. She picked up the receiver hinged on the wall and shouted into it: “I need a crash cart, stat” “His o2 stats are way low” she started doing CPR in the meantime. The crash cart arrived with the doctor and they shocked him a couple of time. But the monitor showed no pulse. The doctor sighed and announced with a low tone: “Time of death; 10:45 am” The doctor looked over the nurse at Charlie, his eyes were shut. “What’s wrong with him?” the doc asked the nurse. The nurse turned behind and addressed Charlie: “Sir!” “Are you okay?” “Can you hear me?” Charlie didn't respond. The doctor moved closer and placed his finger on Charlie's neck to read the pulse. He raised his left hand, looked at his watch, and said: "Time of death; 10:46 am"



Feedback & suggestions to sarmed@lostinperdition.com